August Covers

Abhay · Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 6037

whoah...

what the fuck?

tentacle rape!!!

HEROES FOR HIRE #13
Written by ZEB WELLS & FRED VAN LENTE
Penciled by CLAY MANN & JOHN BOSCO
Cover by SANA TAKEDA

...

... seriously: whoah. Marvel's putting tentacle rape on their covers. They're not even allowed to SMOKE in Marvel comics but you can have tentacle rape on the cover? Then again, noone ever got second-hand tentacle rape....

I'm not even sure I want to make a joke-- am I nuts or is this kind of fucked up? Haha-- the bitching about Mary Jane doing laundry was fun, bloggers, but fucking CHECKMATE!!!

I'd love to interview the editor of this book and ask him: "when you heard about bloggers complaining about Mary Jane doing laundry, were you laughing your ass off, knowing you had tentacle rape a'comin'?"

I mean...

I mean... HOLY SHIT... it's...

... it's fucking tentacle rape!!!

am I nuts? is that not tentacle rape? maybe I'm nuts and I'm reading things into the cover that aren't there. Are those... are those not tentacles? Those couldn't possibly-- there couldn't possibly be a tentacle rape cover at Marvel could there?
-abhay
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Abhay · Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 6037

NO NO SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???

THERE ARE GREMLINS IN THE TOP THAT ARE GOING TO CLAW AT THEM WHILE THE TENTACLES RAPE THEM....

HOW THE FUCK DID THAT...

Can you believe this shit? Am I overreacting? I seriously... am I overreacting? Is that not tentacle rape? I ... I must be wrong. I must be just seeing things that aren't there.

someone's either losing their job over this shit or getting fucking promoted.
-abhay
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Abhay · Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 6037

The Heroes for Hire find themselves in the middle of World War Hulk when their mission to Hulk's stoneship leaves them on the Warbound's death list! It's divide-and-conquer as each hero is hunted by a member of the Jade Giant's band of alien soldiers.

... it's part of their big summer crossover! It's the Summer of Tentacle Rape! This is how Hulk gets his revenge! World War Tentacle Rape.

Newsarama responds:

Heroes for Hentai

Gotta love ya some tentacle rape

and

B**tards. That's some terrible stuff. Plus, a Japanese guy made that cover? You are definitely NOT curing the stereotype.

And did they just say that HULK TOLD NYC TO EVACUATE? Ha, some anti-Hulk people are about to lose a bit of their argument.

and

Plus guest-star Deathlok!!!

HOLY F-ING GOD!!!

My all-time favorite character coming back in one of my favorite comics! HELL YES! I May buy two!!!

Okay that had nothing to do with the tentacle rape but Deathlok coming back is pretty fucking sweet.

and

at least the tentacles are always pre-slimed.. for comfort.

that's all there is in response in three pages of comments so far.

which...

am I overreacting? Cause... maybe I'm overreacting... I think that cover's gross though-- especially the tentacle pre-cum going down the girl on the left's breasts. I can't believe I just typed that.
-abhay
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wayne.ree · Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 589

Lee Bermejo is really doing some awesome work with the recent Hellblazer covers. And, hell, Jock on anything is always good as far as I'm concerned. But that Brian Wood cover takes the fucking cake. My god, that is just sooooo brilliant. I dare anyone who ever said that comics couldn't be art to look at that cover and not, in good conscience, start doubting their opinion a little.

And, yes, Abhay: Tentacle Rape.

Abhay · Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 6037

Earlier issues (as late as #9) were edited by Senior Editor Mark Paniccia, formerly of Tokyopop and Malibu plus somehow involved with the whole Bulletproof Monk movie (he actually got a credit in the movie, though, apparently...).

I just find this fucking fascinating. and horrible. both...
-abhay
oh and anyone coming in from journalista-- when Wayne's talking about Brian Wood's cover, he's referring to the DC covers earlier in the thread. also: hello. how are you?
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Ivan Brandon · Joined: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 4395

Abhay · Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 6037

Abhay · Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 6037

Eric Nguyen. Great X-Men covers.
-abhay
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Stephen Williamson · Joined: 22 May 2007 Posts: 1

Did anyone notice the "kinky" bell around Black Cat's neck?

Ivan Brandon · Joined: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 4395

man- i so shouldn't be spending time on this right now, but i'm retarded:

marvel covers, non tentacle variety:

jae lee

nic klein (which... rocket raccoon? i would probably get points for that, even if it wasn't as cool as it is)

ditto art adams just for being art adams, practically....

marko djurdjevic

marko again (i love that they put CANCELLED on it.)

paul smith

esad ribic

i guess marvel is not blowing off the champions thing, since they are soliciting it without a name... i hope that doesn't hurt the sales, that seems like it would make it harder to promote/order/whatever.

barry kitson

also, i like that fraction seems to be writing his own solicitation copy. i hate writing that stuff... he's good at it. or: someone inspired by talking to him, based on the ANDs, for sure... maybe the latter, since there was no escalation, which i think is how matt would have written it...

esad ribic

marko djurdjevic... for the win? i'm typing these as i go, but i am guessing this one is the win. modok trumps even rocket raccoon.

eric nguyen

sean phillips

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dave press · Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Posts: 851 Location: NYC

loved that Daredevil #100 cover. And one that I really dig:

I know it's July, but I really dig this one:

Gabrielle Dell'Otto

and just because I love Runaways...

Jo Chen:

Steven Griffin · Joined: 10 Jun 2005 Posts: 733

Abhay makes me laugh.

Marvel makes me cry.

Well, aside from the bafflingly-horrendous worst idea tentacle-rape atrocity, when did Marvel covers get so good? I need to stop skipping the superpants section of the store I guess, and at least stop for, y' know, the covers. Pretty great collection.

Ivan Brandon · Joined: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 4395

Ivan Brandon · Joined: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 4395

anyone remember those old x-men classics covers that were like- the best marvel covers ever for the kid version of you?

apparently, he's still got it.

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Brian Nicholson · Joined: 10 Sep 2005 Posts: 517

Some of these have already made the rounds.

Gabriel Ba:

Frank Espinosa:

Kieron Dwyer:

Ashley Wood:

Mike Allred

Bill Sienkiewicz:

Frazer Irving:

Brian Stelfreeze:

I don't think this looks so good blown up, but the thumbnail brings out how good the color composition is.

Rob G's cover has pretty good color choices:

Rafael Albuquerque:

Durwin Talon:

Brian